Kids More or Less Spoiled

"Spoil: To do harm to the character, nature, or attitude of by oversolicitude, overindulgence, or excessive praise."

So one thing that I have noticed being here in Spain is that kids seem to be more...spoiled. Now I hate using that word because it can subjective. Plus I was not the strictest raised kid and got my way a lot more than some would have said was good. I was not spoiled but privileged. And trust me, there is a difference. I don't feel that I was coddled or pampered in such a way that it hindered my devolopment, mentally or academically.  

As my mom has so lovingly pointed out, I can't really make any judgments on other people's parenting skills until I have my own kids. But hear me out...

So far, I have encountered the 3 kids in my house, the boy in my first house, and now a little girl I "tutor." In my first house, I thought that the little boy cried too much to be 7 years old. I just don't think I've ever encountered a kid who throws a tantrum because he doesn't want to do his homework. In my house now, the kids are criers. And whiners. I love them to death but the 5 year old as the baby and only boy is probably the most spoiled in the house. He whines when he's not winning, when he's playing with his sisters, when he's in the bath tub, and probably in his sleep. He's the most adorable kid and generally very happy but he realized very early on that he can start crying and throw himself on the floor to get whatever he wants, whenever he wants. And he's not the only one. A few weeks ago the 11 year old's plastic headband broke. You know the kind that comes in a back of 20 and costs $2? Yeah...so the 5 yr old broke it and she cried for atleast an hour. And not quietly, she cried like he stabbed her with the broken pieces at least 50 times. Rather than telling her to stop and that it was NOT that serious, he parents just hugged her and used all this baby talk like "oh come on sweetie, precious, baby." She finally stopped but later that afternoon I found myself in the store down the street with my host mom buying her a new one. I can really go on and on but I don't want to shed a bad light on these kids. But I will say that I can NOT have kids with a Spanish man. I'm not a "beat now, ask later" kind of person but I do believe in a stronger hand than I've seen here.

The cartoon above also demonstrates what happens in my host family (and probably other homes). Growing up my mom refused to DO my homework. And my parents only helped to a certain extent. By the time I was 10 I was completely independent with school work. I didn't want help and didn't really need it. I asked my mom to quiz me every now and then but after 10 I did all projects by my self. Something that has stood out to me about my host family is that the parents help the kids and are very actively engaged in their education. But at what point does your "help" start to hurt? They help prepare for tests and make the kids study. That's normal. But when the 11 yr old had a project, something simple made from a shoe box, her mom did it. There was no helping. She was in the kitchen doing the project and complaining about the pointlessness of this project. "Why would the teachers assign this when they know the parents have to work on it?" It really was pointless but the little girl didn't lay hands on it till the end when she threw some paper to make snow. And the 5 year old had a simple poster with animals on it. They only allowed him to cut 2 and write his name. It didn't look like a 5 year old did it at all. How much do they think these teachers are expecting from kids?

To drive my point home, I really think kids here mature slower because they are spoiled longer. Tantrums past the age of 3 is a little bit much. Maybe I'm being kind of harsh and will completely disagree with myself in a few years but for now I KNOW I'm right.