Quest to Fluidity

I have no intentions of leaving Spain "fluid." If I have learned anything it's that fluidity is more of a state of mind. It's a very subjective term and really means nothing. There's no test that you can take that comes with a certificate that says "fluidity accomplished!" We are our toughest critics and I've never heard anyone say that they are fluid and perfect spanish speakers (or any language for that matter). I know people whose second language is english, they've been speaking it for years, yet they don't feel like they're good enough. It's the same for me.

My number one priority in studying abroad this year is to become more fluent than I would ever hope to be in classes in the U.S. Yes, I'm taking business classes. Yes, I plan on doing a little travelling. But more than anything in the world I want to leave here speaking spanish.

Last semester I didn't feel like I was improving even though I was. My level of comprehension is wayyyy higher than I thought it was. If life were about having one sided conversations in which I only had to listen then I would have no worries. But it's not. I spent the better half of last semester being timid and bitter because I was worried about classmates and what wasn't happening. This semester I've decided that I have too many resources available and  too much determination to be disappointed in myself at the end of the semester. I regret nothing about Peru (the places I went, the people I met, NOTHING) except that I didn't speak as much as I should have and could have. I focused too much on not being able to roll my rr's and trying to make sure I conjugated everything before it left my mouth.

And I know at times this year I won't feel like I'm getting better. There will be times when I feel like I might actually be getting worse. I know that there will be ups and downs but above all else I want to leave in June feeling good about everything I did to improve my language proficiency. I say proficiency because it's a little less subjective. I'm proficient at blogger and excel but I'm not perfect or an expert. I know enough to get these posts done and I can make some simple graphs but I know that there's always more to learn. This semester I'll have alot of opportunites and obligations to speak spanish. All of my classes are in Spanish. I live with a host family. I'M IN SPAIN. But here are a few things that I plan to do specifically:

• Go to language workshops done by my program. There's a writing center and they offer informative workshops like the use of "por and para" and other stuff that's always good for a review.
• Partake in tutors. My program also pays for 14 hours of a tutor. This can be for my university class or just someone to talk to.
• Intercambio. My program also has students who volunteer to have conversations with us. Half in spanish and half in english. I was assigned one and I think I'll have to change since she hasn't answered my e-mail. But I definitely see myself with 1 or 2 intercambios.
• Limit english! This is a hard one because a) it's an automatic response when talking to friends b) alot of people aren't here to focus on Spanish and could care less. I've tried to identify people from my classes and others I've met who seem to want to atleast spend part of the time speaking spanish. But it's a constant struggle because even in classes people speak spanish to the professor and english amongst themselves.
• Internship. My internship has a woman that I'll communicate directly with as well as a tutor/mentor. Not only WILL I ask questions and actively participate in convos but I will also talk to co-workers. I'll also have work and other things to do...I'll come up with something more concrete when I actually start interning next week.
• GET OUT THERE! I need to also meet spaniards on my own. Going for tapas with a few friends and starting convos or even just when I'm by myself I need to find an excuse to ask random questions in spanish just to practice. I hope to make a friend in my university class but that's not promised.

There's so much else that I can talk about but this is getting kind of long. I'll just say that again, there is absolutely no reason why I shouldn't leave Spain speaking much better than when I got here. I would just like to  have a conversation for longer than 30 minutes where  I don't need a dictionary or alot of hand motions to get my point across. I don't think that that's too much to ask...